LXtasy
02-06-2010, 10:24 AM
Stolen from YB
Why do women have 2 pairs of lips?
So they can bitch with one and apologize with the other
Why do women get married in white?
All good kitchen utensils come in white
What does WIFE stand for?
Washing, Ironing, F###ing, Ect.
What don't women's stomachs fall out through their vagina?
Because of the the vacuum inside their heads.
Why did god invent yeast infections?
So women know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt every once in awhile!
Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why the f##k is she out of the kitchen!?
Why did god give women small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink!!!
What do you tell a woman with two black eye's?
Nothing...you've told her twice already.
why do women have legs?.........
So they won't leave snail tracks on linoleum floors!
why did god give women one more brain cell than he gave a cow ?
so they wouldnt shit on the floor when you play with there tits.
Bigamy is having too many wifes.
Monogamy is the same.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it better be open by the time she hands it me
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven
What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
WHY DON'T WOMEN FART?
They can't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up any pressure!
If your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.
Why do women have 2 pairs of lips?
So they can bitch with one and apologize with the other
Why do women get married in white?
All good kitchen utensils come in white
What does WIFE stand for?
Washing, Ironing, F###ing, Ect.
What don't women's stomachs fall out through their vagina?
Because of the the vacuum inside their heads.
Why did god invent yeast infections?
So women know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt every once in awhile!
Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why the f##k is she out of the kitchen!?
Why did god give women small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink!!!
What do you tell a woman with two black eye's?
Nothing...you've told her twice already.
why do women have legs?.........
So they won't leave snail tracks on linoleum floors!
why did god give women one more brain cell than he gave a cow ?
so they wouldnt shit on the floor when you play with there tits.
Bigamy is having too many wifes.
Monogamy is the same.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it better be open by the time she hands it me
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven
What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
WHY DON'T WOMEN FART?
They can't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up any pressure!
If your wife comes out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.